Scientific Staff

 

 

Name: Dr. Holden van Austferen

Affiliation: Department of Physical Sciences, Alan Smithee University, Xanadu

Research interests: all sorts of gravity, hairy black holes, Boltzmann brains, Maxwell kidneys

 

Recent publications:

with J. Grimm and W. Grimm, The sevenfold snow-white-effect on white dwarfs, Acta Fairy Phys. 78, 456-1087 (2010).

with N. E. Edless, Strangeless decay of heavy overweight weirdos, Far Out Phys. D134, 245-267, 48 (2009).

with N. E. Edless and F. Utile, Charged batteries reloaded, J. Royal Soc. Crimson 2, 111-112 (2009).

with N. E. Edless and F. Utile, Opposing the non-negative negation of the reversal, Confus. Phys. Commun. 34, 87-100 (2008).

with D. J. Bobo, One-Loop-Recursion of Jack-in-the-Box-Diagrams with one broken leg, Rejecta Inacceptabila, Vol. 0 (2007).

 

 

Name: Dr. Dimitri Prudnikov

Affiliation: Department of Physical Sciences, Alan Smithee University, Xanadu

Research interests: nuclear physics, supersymmetric theories, super-duper-symmetric theories, …

 

Recent publications:

with C. F. Kane, The Eleventh Digit of the Numerical Semi-Interesting Antikaleron Formfactor, Ignored Phys. Lett. 85 (2010).

with C. F. Kane, The Tenth Digit of the Numerical Semi-Interesting Antikaleron Formfactor, Ignored Phys. Lett. 82 (2010).

with C. F. Kane, The Ninth Digit of the Numerical Semi-Interesting Antikaleron Formfactor, Ignored Phys. Lett. 75 (2009).

with C. F. Kane, The First Eight Digits of the Numerical Semi-Interesting Antikaleron Formfactor, Ignored Phys. Lett. 74 (2009).

with C. F. Kane, Is the Semi-Interesting Antikaleron Formfactor Computable?, Ignored Phys. Lett. 72 (2009).

with C. F. Kane, Kalerons, antikalreons and why they might even exist,  Proceedings of the Annual Table-Tennis Barbeque Party, Vol. 1, 345-367, (2008).

 

 

Name: Dr. Marcellus Nelson, a.k.a. T.P.F.K.A.P.: The Physicist Formally Known As Prince

Affiliation: Department of Physical Sciences, Alan Smithee University, Xanadu

Research interests: electric guitar, new power generation, hair-gel physics

 

Recent publications:

The Torsion-Tensor for Ultra-Tight Pants, Proc. Paisley Park 67, 56-145 (2005).

Triggering Super High Noise in Purple Rain Performances, Lipgloss for Men 23, 18-37 (1984).

with Y. Ono, Splitting up Four-Headed Band Operators, Y. Ono Publ. Lett. 1 (1970).

with J. Harrison, J. Lennon, P. McCartney and R. Starkey, The Triple-Yeah!-Conjecture, Abbey Rd. Rec. 7 (1964).

 

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